WAHM eBook
Making the choice to work from home
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Many of life's failures are people who did not realize c
how close they were to success when they gave up.
-- Thomas Edison

Chapter Two: The Choices
Page one

When it came to working, I always dreamed of having my own business. I wanted to play by my own rules and set my own hours. But I had a dilemma, because I wanted to be a mom first and foremost. I wanted my number one responsibility to be that of “Mother.” Ever since I could remember, I desired to be the mom who had an active role in her child’s life.

After my son was born, I worked myself into a tizzy trying to find an excuse not to return to work, outside of our home. My chance came when the company I had worked for went out of business. For the first time, I sat down and explained my desire to stay home to my husband, and to my surprise, he agreed with me! Of course it wasn’t quite that easy he actually wanted to weigh all the options.

Being a stay at home mom was great for awhile, but I began to get bored and anxious for more. My first home business was an in-home day care, but after a few years, the long hours began to take its toll on my family. Looking back, I don’t know how my husband ever slept during the day with crying babies and screaming toddlers.

I decided to join a temporary agency thinking I could pick and choose my jobs and still have ample time for my three-year-old son. The first assignment they gave me happened to be for a wonderful company and an amazing group of people. I loved my job, and I loved working in an office. After a while, that corporate bug got a hold of me and I began working for the company full time. My son spent 12-hour days in a day care, Monday through Thursday. Fridays were to be my day off, but I spent the day cleaning and playing catch up at home instead. That meant my son was spending five days a week in day care, and we were seeing very little of each other.

Every day I went to work feeling guilty about leaving my son in a day care and rationalizing all the benefits of being in a day care environment. I often thought of quitting, but how could I when my boss had fought to have a permanent position created for me, not to mention the fact that the company had just agreed to pay for me to attend law school. It was an unbelievable opportunity and one I couldn’t just walk away from. But God had other plans. I became pregnant with my second child, and there was no way I would leave this baby in the care of another when she couldn’t even speak to tell me how she was being treated. Besides, her most formative years needed to be with me, not a stranger. I wanted her to bond with me, not someone else. But in the long run, was I making the right decision?

My husband and I decided that attending law school would have been a wonderful opportunity, but the sacrifices were too great. So once again, I became the stay-at-home mom. And truth be told, with all its ups and downs, I actually enjoyed being home again.

This was a different kind of stress, but one I gladly accepted. But alas, time again passed, and I found myself looking for something more to do with my time. I didn’t want to make the same mistake again. I didn’t want to give up too much of my time with my children because I wanted to be the main influence in their lives.

• Who is the main influence in your children’s lives? If it’s not you, how do you feel about the morals and ethics of that provider?