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eBook Excerpt
From: Work At Home Or Stay At Home? You Can Do Both!.
eBook Author: Alyice Edrich
Chapter One: What Do You Aspire To Be?
When I was a child, I had dreams of doing great things with my life, but none inspired me as much as the desire to be a mother and raise a family of my own. At first, raising my family was all I desired and needed, but as time went on, something inside of me began yearning for more. I wanted to know if there was life out there beyond being a mother, a wife, and a home-keeper. The truth is mothers and fathers have the greatest and most difficult jobs in the world, but alas, we are often the most unappreciated workers of all time. So after a while, we begin to yearn for something that will offer us some form of recognition. For some it’s volunteering and for others, it comes from working or creating something.
- When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
- Other than being a mom (or dad), what helps you feel good about yourself?
Whether you are a new parent or one struggling with the decision to quit your job and stay home, this book is for you! You don’t have to give up your dreams in order to be home with your children. There is a way to have it all, provided you are willing to sacrifice in some areas, to have more in other areas of your life.
- What sacrifices are you willing to make? In other words, what things are you willing to let go of or drop from your schedule?
When we first think of working from home, we think of long hours and lots of sacrificing until that one big break comes and we start cashing in on our “just rewards.” But what if we don’t want long hours?
What if we don’t want that big break? What if we simply want to work from home making just enough money to help out, and doing just enough to feel good about ourselves? What if we only want enough to make a car payment or to take the kids out to our favorite fast food place for lunch every Friday? What if we just want some adult conversation? What if we just want an excuse to get out of the house and leave the kids with hubby?
Better yet, what if we simply want to experiment with being our own boss until we find the right business to fit our lifestyle, morals, and goals? What if right now all we want is to work a part-time business, but don’t want it perceived as a hobby? What if we want a part-time business now but eventually want to turn it into something larger and more lucrative? Like when the kids are grown!
Can we really have a part-time business and not feel pressured to keep up with the Jones’ of the business world? I have asked myself this plenty of times. When I started looking for ways to work out of my home nearly 11 years ago, I didn’t do it to make millions, and I didn’t do it because of a dream. I did it because I felt like I had to contribute more to the household. It wasn’t enough that I was the not-for-hire Gal Friday who took care of the children, ran the errands, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, handled the bookkeeping, played nurse, and did countless other tasks. I felt like I had to contribute monetarily.
It was something that society had impressed upon me for so many years that I felt like I would lose my mind trying to juggle the options. On the one hand, a corporate career and prestige sounded really nice. And yet, I didn’t want to miss out on my children’s lives! I wanted to be the one who was home with them when they were sick. I wanted to attend the field trips and see their holiday performances, and I surely didn’t want a boss telling me when I could and could not attend these things.
But what if things didn’t work out? What if I put our spare money into something that just wasn’t for me? What if I worked hard at something and I just couldn’t make a go of it? What would I tell my family and friends? What would they think of me then? Would I be adding more stress to my marriage? Would I look like a failure? Would I be able to handle the stress of a new adventure? These were things I had to seriously think about.
So I sat down with my husband and we decided together what was best for our family. We weighed the odds of me never having tried against the satisfaction I would feel when I finally found my niche. Then we calculated the costs of me working, hiring a childcare provider, and having someone else instill their morals and ethics in our children’s heads. We then calculated the costs of me staying home and just raising the kids.
And finally, we calculated the costs of all the times we went out to eat and just blew money on frivolous things that we never really wanted in the first place, just because it looked good on television. Finally, we came to a conclusion. We didn’t want someone else raising our kids, and we didn’t mind the idea of me experimenting with ways to bring in a little extra cash. Truth be told, my husband still wishes I would have struck gold by now, but my goal was never to build an empire simply to nurture the one I have.
- What do you think your husband (or wife) would say to the idea of your staying home with the kids?
- What do you think he (or she) would say to your idea of working out of the home?
- Do you desire to build an empire of material wealth or of family bonds? And why?
Having said all that, let me simply say that no two people are ever alike. Just because Joe down the street wants to be a corporate manager doesn’t mean that you have to compete or meet his expectations. And just because Sally, whom you’ve only met over the Internet, has a successful online business that brings in $5,000 a month doesn’t mean you have to aspire to reach that level, either. And so what if Veronica, one of your dearest and closest friends, got you into her home party sales business and is a Director making $3,000 a month and just won a new car or a trip to the Bahamas. Just because she chose that goal doesn’t mean that you have to meet that goal, too.
Everyone’s level of success is different, because each person aspires to something different. What is good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander. You have to decide what is best for you. And if it is simply making enough money to pay for a car payment or to take your kids out every week to a movie and a play date, then so be it. If you simply want to feel as though you have achieved more than just changing diapers but still want to have that white picket fence dream, then applaud the successes of your successors while standing firm to your own dreams, ideals, and goals. Who knows, when the kids are older or grown and out of the house, you may just want to be CEO of some large and fabulously rich corporation!
- Right now, off the top of your head, what do you consider success to be? Not what society says it is, not what your peers say it is, but what would success be for you?
I am not saying that it will be an easy decision to uphold, because it isn’t. There have been times when I just wanted to chuck it all and return to the workforce and climb that corporate ladder. There have even been times when I have wanted to place my kids in a childcare facility so that I could grow my business to a level of success that seemed acceptable in the eyes of others. And finally, there have been times when I have wanted to chuck it all, only to return to being nothing more than a stay at home mom whose biggest worry was whether or not her child’s boo boo would leave a scar.
What keeps me grounded is the fact that I aspire to be the best mom I can be and I don’t want to miss out on any of my children’s growing years. After all, they are only little once, and soon they will be grown and have rich full lives and I will be the one begging, “Will you play with me?”
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This is an excerpt from the copyright protected e-book, Work At Home Or Stay At Home? You Can Do Both!. © Alyice Edrich. All rights reserved.
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