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New column 1st Tuesday of each month.
Dear Lavon
My daughter refuses to go to school. She has even gone as far as going to school one day and had my husband called to come get her.
She has missed almost 40 straight days of school. I try to get her up, but when it is time for the bus, she is not even ready. I don't
know how to get her back into school. She wants to go to home school or go to private school next year. Please help me.
-- Alisa
Dear Alisa,
School attendance is mandatory and depending on the law in the state where you live, you personally could be arrested for not making your daughter go to school. If she is over 16, I believe the law in our state allows that person to enroll in GED training. Perhaps your school system has an alternative school like our school system does, which has had good success.
Do you have a private Christian school associated with your church in your hometown? Does she have friends who go to a private school that might accept her?
If you are a stay-at-home mom, then you might homeschool her, but if you are not, that choice is out.
You don’t mention what kind of a relationship the two of you have. Do you get along on other issues? Is she easy to get along with? How does she relate to her brothers and sisters? Her father?
Is she depressed? Has she dropped out of life in other areas? Does she have any friends she maintains contact with since she is not in school? Is she using drugs or alcohol as far as you know? What does she do all day since she isn’t going to school? Is she active in youth group at church?
These are all valid questions which will guide you in making your choices.
Teen years are hard under the best of circumstances, but a traumatic incident at school could have caused her to withdraw into herself. Maybe someone made fun of her or maybe she was bullied.
Here is my suggestion: Go to the school and talk with a counselor or the principal. Tell them what you have told me. Show them that you are interested in getting your daughter back in school.
Have them recommend a family counselor, perhaps a Christian counselor, if one is available. If there is a cost, it might be covered by your insurance or be pro-rated according to your income. The whole family needs to be in counseling together, because the interactions within the family affect each person.
If you are not actively attending a Bible-believing church with an active youth group, find one soon and join. Get your daughter involved in youth group, even if you have to go with her to get her started.
Whatever you do, don’t give up on her. And all of this must be done in love. Don’t be critical or harsh, but treat her with respect.
Ephesians 6:4 says, “And you, fathers (or parents), do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
Spend time with her in an activity that you know she would enjoy. Take her out to eat and to a concert. Go to a mother-daughter banquet at the church for Mother’s Day. Go shopping just for her. Take her to the library or a museum.
And pray. Pray for her and pray for yourself.
Ask God to open your eyes to see what the answer is for this situation. Ask Him to reveal to you the cause of this problem and His solution. Read His word daily and seek His wisdom—start in Proverbs.
Pray over her bed and pillow when she isn’t there and ask the Lord to give her peace. My favorite scripture is Isaiah 54:13, personalized for me, “All my children shall be taught by the Lord; and great shall be the peace of my children.”
And Isaiah 54:17, “No weapon formed against my children will prosper…”
Psalms 127:3 “Behold children are a heritage from the Lord; The fruit of the womb is a reward.”
Proverbs 31:26, 28 speaking of the virtuous wife, “She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. …Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.”
Your child is a blessing from the Lord. She is a reward, your inheritance from the Lord. Some day she will rise up and call you blessed, because you loved her enough to stand with her and lead her through this time of trouble.
To Happier Homes,
P.S.
No matter what the question, there is always one answer to your question—pray for your children.
Here are four books I believe every parent and grandparent should read:
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About The Author:
Lavon Hightower Lewis is enjoying her retirement by sharing her faith with everyone she comes in contact with. She will never
forget when the Lord spoke to her through Isa 54:13 "All your children shall be taught by the Lord and great shall be the
peace of your children." Learn how to pray for your children with my via Lavon's free prayer group.
* Information provided in this column is for entertainment purposes only.
The information in this column is not meant to be taken as legal, medical, or professional advice. Read legal disclaimer.
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, Stormie OMartian