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We’re Married.
Why Should We Date?
Christian thoughts on every day parenting.
by Donna Shepherd
All materials copyrighted
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Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:22-24 NIV
My husband and I checked into our room at a resort and almost before the door shut behind us, I picked up the phone. Turning to my
husband, I said, “I need to check on the kids.”
He rolled his eyes. “Donna, we’ve only been gone about two hours. I think your mom’s fully capable of taking care of a two-year old and
a four-year old.”
But I would not be deterred. My mother picked up the phone and assured me the children were fine. “I suppose I should mention that Leah
is running a fever, but I’m sure she’ll be good as new soon. It’s really nothing.”
What? A fever? I wanted to go home immediately. Did I stop to think that my mom had raised five children? No! My babies needed their
mommy.
How did I end up overly anxious about my children’s care? Because I had never left them for more than two hours since their birth. I
said I couldn’t since they both nursed, but they had been weaned for months and still I hung on, developing an unhealthy attachment to
my children. That’s when my husband and mother finally talked me into getting away for the weekend.
Parents, I urge you to learn from my mistake. Even though my children nursed, I could have arranged to go out for the evening with my
husband occasionally.
Remember when you dated? You probably put a lot of thought into dating early in the relationship. What should we do? Where to go? What
should I wear?
Then you get married and have children. Many couples never give dating another thought. Perhaps it’s time to start dating your spouse
again.
How does having a "date night" help your marriage? It shows you still think about each other. Your children will see that a healthy
relationship grows stronger because you care enough to nurture it.
Taking time to be with one another establishes the high priority of your marriage. Don’t let other commitments rob you of your time
together.
Time away will keep your children from being spoiled. They know instinctively if they can manipulate you into giving them all of your
attention all of the time. I’m sure when Mom kept my children, had she let me talk to Leah, I would have felt even more guilty if Leah had
told me she needed me. She didn’t really. Mom had the situation covered.
When you need to work on keeping that marriage partnership its strongest, you typically have the biggest number of commitments to take
you away from that goal – children's activities, church obligations, and work constraints. So, how do we combat this issue?
Go on cheap dates to museums, matinees, parks, picnics, or a walk through the mall. Go on fast dates like grabbing a cup of coffee or
dessert.
Barter with your friends by having them baby-sit one week and you the next. Line up the relatives. Many times aunts, uncles, and
grandparents will watch the kiddies for a couple of hours.
What do you do if you can't afford to go out? Have a friend take the children to their house, and stay in. Instead of going to the
movies, rent one, or better yet, check a movie out of the library at no charge. Pop some popcorn. Dim the lights, not only for romantic
purposes, but so you won't be tempted to pull out your 'to do' list of chores while the kids are away.
If you can't relax at home, try going to matinees. Our local theater has matinees prices all evening on Tuesdays. How long has it been
since you went bowling? It could be fun. You'll never know unless you try! Or how about taking an exercise or an art class together?
God instituted marriage. Jesus said about marriage, “Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male
and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:4-6 NIV).
Let’s work hard to keep our marriages together. Take my advice. Nurture your marriage. Cherish your spouse. Remember, the children will
grow up and leave the nest. Twenty years from now, you don’t want to discover you’re living with a stranger!
BUSY Parents Tip
Who says Date Night must be dinner and a movie on Friday night? Brainstorm with your spouse for ways to get away together for even an
hour. The important thing is not the amount of time you spend together, but that you reconnect in a meaningful way during that time.
About The Author:
Donna J. Shepherd is the author of Topsy Turvy Land
and a contributing author to Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms.
From bird watching to the Beatitudes, her writing touches the heart with wisdom and humor while feeding the mind with
daily portions of God's Word. Read more of her writing at Donna J. Shepherd.
* This article is available for your publication, for a F-E-E.
This article may NOT be reprinted without monetary compensation and written permission from the author.
For reprint rights or comments/questions about this article, please contact the author.
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