Title
Connecting With Your Kids
How Fast Families Can Move From Chaos To Closeness
Author
Timothy Smith
Publisher
Bethany House Publishers
Review
I began reading Connecting With Your Kids, by Timothy Smith, while waiting for my daughter during wrestling practice. I worried
that this book would be another one of those dry, parenting books that stereo-typically throws out a list of do’s and don’ts without
giving any real thought to the reader and his/her family. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to find a book filled with third-person
stories, thought-provoking questions, and advice for not only understanding our family’s unique style, but putting into action strategies
that make families stronger, healthier, and happier.
The book consists of four parts and fifteen chapters. Each chapter builds upon the next to help you, the reader, understand each member’s
unique characteristic: cruiser, walker, runner, or biathlete, and then helps you work within those characteristics to build relationships
you’ve only dreamed possible.
A cruiser is someone who likes a “low level of activity.” The walker is someone who likes a “medium level of activity.” The runner is
someone who likes a “high level of activity.” And the biathlete is someone who goes through life on “various activity levels”: very fast,
very slow, and somewhere in between.
In my family, I have a biathlete (my daughter), a walker (my son), a walker/cruiser combo (that’s me), and a cruiser/runner combo
(my husband)—no wonder my family butts heads!
Thankfully, without even realizing we were following Smith’s suggestions, we’ve learned to make allowances for our differences and go
with the flow on more than one occasion. Sometimes, we act like biathletes to encourage my daughter’s natural sense of adventure and
discovery. Sometimes, we act like walkers and just hang out at home because my son felt we’ve done too many “on the go” activities. And
sometimes we do a little of both, meaning we’ll spend one day doing something relaxing and the next day we’ll rush to and fro as we race
to be the first in line for the next ride at the amusement park.
In Connecting With Your Kids, Smith says, “I am very interested in saving childhood—our culture is filled with people rushing
through it and permitting erosion of the boundaries that protect it...We overload our calendar because we hate to disappoint people...running
on the treadmill of approval, achievement, and acquisition.” And I couldn’t agree more!
My son is now fifteen years old and most of his friends either work a part-time job or work on the family farm. He, of course, wants to
work part-time to earn extra money. My answer:”I’m sorry but you cannot get a part-time job. Your job is your schoolwork and enjoying
your childhood. You’ll have an entire lifetime to work. Besides, between school, homework, practice, and actual games, there’s very
little time left at the end of the day for family time. And whether we’re just hanging out as a family watching a show, playing a board
game, or running errands, we need time together. If you need extra money for something you can 1. Just ask or 2. Work it off by doing
extra chores.” Sure, he’d rather practice his independence by getting a part-time job and some may argue that it’s great for preparing
him for the rest of the world, but truth-be-told, I’m a great worker with good work ethics and I didn’t start working until I graduated
from high-school. Extra-curricular activities can teach the same work ethics and they even look good on college applications.
To Sum It Up
Throughout Connecting With Your Kids, Smith has one common theme: to move you “from all the rush to genuine closeness, caring, and rest.”
Just imagine waking up in the morning and thinking, “I Love My Life!”
You can feel that way you know…if you take the time to actually put Smith’s principles into place! It won’t be easy, and you may meet
with some resistance, but in the end, you’ll find your life less stressed and much happier.
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About The Dabbling Mum:
Alyice Edrich is a freelance writer with a love for finding "ah ha moments"…even if the writers didn’t intend
to put them there! Visit her at AlyiceEdrich.com
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